Opening

My setting for the past eight months has included wood stoves, books, cards, redwoods, spliffs, Christmas lights, melting a moonlit hot tub behind a lighthouse, warm beds, kerosene lamps, sheep skin rugs and coconut oil. Things have been rather lax you could say. By day I educate fifth and sixth graders on local ecology and mentor high school students, but by night I live a life suited for a Zen Guru. I haven’t been affected by my past too much and don’t put too much stress on the future as I have done before, but I’m still itching for a renewal; a restart from acquiring those filthy patterns that always seem to find their way back into our lives. I am deeply in love with a woman who has spent an insurmountable amount of energy in supporting me and stepping into my reality while pulling me out of my own masochistic and manipulative nature. I feel hazed in a realm of euphoria. Life is so precious in these days that are marked by finitude and closure. Soon I will be treading through the scorch of southern California, plastered with dirt around my calves and holding my self for warmth, alone in my swamp stenched bag. I try to make it a point to have these moments of realization that open me up to my surrounding to be aware of what life is. Rarely do others I find around me pull me into that atmosphere, but luckily my thoughts wander into those circles of perception. There is a desperate need for me to be stretched in my views and thinking so I set out for yet another step into the void of isolation in hopes of renewal and restoration to further my understanding of those patterns and cages I find myself in when my path begins to normalize and balance out. My first long distance trail eradicated massive constructs that have barricaded my ability to accept love and be good to myself, but there are many deeper-rooted lessons to learn that have caused those ruts to be formed in the first place and my hope is that through this experience and solitude I will see life in a new light and regard my existence in higher esteem. Life is an infinite awakening spurred on by experiences and effort. For myself, I want fulfillment and depth and in five days I begin another journey that fosters so much potential for both.

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