I woke up this morning with so much joy having slept on the floor of the earth again in a sleeping bag feeling the cold wet air brush against my face as my eyes opened to start the day. Small crystals of water hung from the tarp over our heads threatening to drop on our faces and bags, but we beat them to their fall in getting up to cook breakfast and make some coffee. We sat for a while taking in the sounds of the river and the small paintings of light shining upon the canvas of mountains behind us. After a while we got up and headed to the road to hitch up to Candanchu.
After a few minutes a woman headed halfway up the mountain stopped to give us a ride. She stopped at a popular hiking spot called Sunsonet where we hitched again trying to get up the hill. Not long after we were dropped off did a shirtless Spanish man with an amazing handle bar mustache walk by telling us he would get his car and take us up. He dropped us off in Sompert which was only a few hundred feet from where we were trying to get. After a short walk we found ourselves at an albergue.
We asked the woman if it was ok for us to leave our things there for a night and return the next day to sleep at the refuge. She said it was fine and we sat down for a few hours to prepare for a small hike up to the lake to camp.
As we left Ryan mentioned his foot was hurting again, but I was so excited to sleep at the lake I hardly noticed how serious his situation was. We sat next to a road that led to our trail hoping for a ride to the trail, but it seemed pointless so we slowly walked towards the trail. As we hit the trail Ryan paused to do some stretching and when I turned around and looked at him I knew something needed to change.
I walked back to him and we began a long conversation about where we were at physically and what we needed to do about the situation we were in. It was no longer a hiking excursion, but a need for healing and rest. We found a small shaded spot by a ski resort and after a long conversation came to the agreement that we would be beginning our European trip early and at the end of the month will potentially return to the Pyrenees to hike some more if we are healthy.
This wasn't easy for me because for the past month I have been dealing with injuries trying to hike and now it's not only me who is injured but my friend as well. The next step in this lesson I feel is to not only care for myself and find ways to love myself in the reality of who I am, but now to think of those around me who I love and put their needs at the front of my thoughts and do what I can to help them. Asking someone to hurt themselves to make me happy is not going to bring me joy in the end and that truth will apply to so many relationships in my life. I want to strive to be someone who doesn't tax people in their relationship to me, but recognizes ways to step into their situation and rest in the flow of their current helping in anyway I can.
Walking away from the mountains is never easy and as Ryan and I made our way back the refuge I had a few tears in my eyes, but trusting the clear Divine presence in my life stirring up new inspiration and joy in my soul. I find so much confidence in that apparent reality and walked away knowing I am going where I am being led.
Ryan and I gathered our things at the Refuge and began our hitch down the mountain to start our European tour! Unfortunately we didn't get far but got a small ride back up to Sompert where we found a camp spot on an abandoned parking lot. The sun set in front of us behind some rugged mountains and some small clouds whipped up from the valley below us.
Things feel right sitting here and having no idea what tomorrow will bring. The mountains have stitched their name on my heart and I will always long to rest in their soul, but for now we look towards healing and adventure in a different facet and if the wind allows we will return to these mountains in a few weeks. I have a lot of life left in me and there will be many more mountains to climb. For now we head east into the heart of France with no direction and no goal. Let's see what happens!